For those who don’t interact with the business world, there are a classification of middle management assistants called the ‘business analyst’. These analysts help middle management hobble along, either directly or through some widely read newspaper or magazine or website by telling bosses what the future of their industry is. They are our enemy.

They predict the future through a combination of careful wording, stating the obvious in an interesting way, voodoo magic, and rubber chickens. Most people don’t take stock into what most business analysts say, but the atypical pointy haired boss will buy right into what they say.